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[tracedfeelings]

INBOX text / audio / video / action It's Ena, but I'm not available. Just text, it'll be faster. code credit

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[tracedfeelings]

[ ena winces at the use of her actual name rather than her online handle. they're serious here. considering their last conversation, rebuffing levi's concern would be hypocritical. she owes them some modicum of honesty at the very least. that doesn't make typing out her responses any easier, however. ]

well
yeah
a lot of our songs sound like that
but it's helping the person who's writing them
i think

[ mafuyu shouting into the void and thousands lifting their voice in chorus. ]

[fibrillate]

And I'm happy for that.
I'm glad that your lyricist has a voice, too.
But yours is still the one I'm hearing.

[there are two things here that levi wants to address, but one is far more pressing. they decide, then, to offer more of themself. the things that built up inside their chest like dregs.]

Being in the public eye is so stressful. Especially at your age, when you're trying to handle so many different other things.
The expectations of your parents, your friends... the pressure of validating anyone who has their eye on you.
Whether you can feel them looking or not.

How much of that weight are you trying to shoulder on your own, Ena?

cw for the briefest mention of suicidal ideation

[tracedfeelings]

i don't handle everything on my own
there's airi
akito too
but sometimes

[ nightmares of her disastrous entrance exam rush in like a red tide. memories of yukihira's class make her so anxious she feels sick. disappearing never stops being an option no matter how much she's determined to live.

and while her friends and family more or less know the whole story, it's rare for someone outside of niigo to shine the spotlight directly into her eyes, force her to blink away the sudden pressure behind them. it takes some time for ena to properly reply. ]

it can be really painful
but singing with niigo always helps
so even if it's mafuyu writing the lyrics we're all being heard
if that makes sense

[fibrillate]

[they don't reply for a moment, but the read notification still comes through. this is difficult. ena's a friend, but ena is half their age, and the techniques that might work with a peer won't work here. they need to be gentle without handling her with kid gloves. it could never be easy, but no one said it would be.]

I don't mean to sound insensitive, Ena.
But I was torn from my support network when I came here... and I had to rebuild as much as I could.
You're part of it, Mizuki is, everyone I know now is. And there are people I trust to help bear my burdens who weren't there in New Gate.

Singing with Niigo helps. But do you have an Akito here? Do you have an Airi?
Someone who can help you without judging you?
And are you talking to them, if you do?